Today I found out the one of my best friends grand father died. The part that hurts is that I didn't find out from her but from a mutual friend. I also found out from reading a blog of hers that shes been in the hospital for the last 10 days. I feel really hurt becuase I obviously have been a crappy friend for her not to want to include me in her life. It hurts me that we've grown so far apart for us to be so distant. She means so much to me and I were to loss her I would be devistated I don't know if she feels the same for me. I wish I would have been a better friend in the past. Mandy means the world to me and shes been very sick and I wasn't there for her I wish she would have let me know. I feel bad becuase I don't really know whats she been going through and I wish she had someone to relate to and a lot of the people she was able to relate to are no longer with her and thier desease has taken thier lives. I'm so happy that she has been with us this long and I want her to have a happy and long life. I would do anything to help her and I hope she knows it. We have been friends for about 18 years I think we use to do eveything together I have some of my best memories with her at her house we spent a lot of years together. I love her and if anything happened to her I don't know what I would do I just wish I knew her better then I do right now and I wish we were closer because shes a great person and she deserves the best. I don't know if she knows how I feel about her but I do hope that I've made it clear to her through out these 18 years.
No comments:
Post a Comment